I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
