Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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