he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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