Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
