the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
