I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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