i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
