at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
