Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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