I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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