If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
