he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
