Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
she peed on how many people?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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