Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
