so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I am available for nakedness
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
