I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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