her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize