When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
a search helicopter?!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
