Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize