I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
