Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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