i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
