I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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