I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize