I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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