I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize