i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
