STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
