Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize