Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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