Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
