it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
