Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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