I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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