I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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