at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
