I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize