puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
