Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize