How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Semen is not good for contacts.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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