i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
