goodnight i made you a song goodbye
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm at about main and main street
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
