Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
The Olympian is in my bed
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
