So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
