Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
