I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
The Olympian is in my bed
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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