It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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