the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
