Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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