i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My vagina is officially offended.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize