She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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