My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
