Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
how drunk are you?
Several
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
