just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
