ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
