hotel room ftw
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
