where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
