'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
