Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
