Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
