People in love make me want to vomit
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm sobbing to NWA
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
