I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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